I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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