I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
