Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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