Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
