you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
My hand turned me down
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
