so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
