Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I want to be your penis for a week.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
