I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
