are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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