it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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