6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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