can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
