i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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