So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
