She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I don't deserve a penis
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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