I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
