I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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