We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
