I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
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