You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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