I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
