So gin and wine won't be happening again
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
