he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
my liver is dry heaving
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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