I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We're too hungover to prance.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
