Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
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