i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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