Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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