i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
