They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
