Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
