He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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