Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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