It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
