dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
