AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
