i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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