walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
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