The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
