This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
