Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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