I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
