I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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