what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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