she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
