I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
