So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
