Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
