Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
apparently the secret to your success is patron
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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