Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
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