I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
