cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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