What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
