Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
