I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
