I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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